I have had so many reflections since being home. While I was in the hospital my good friends lost a child who lived only 11 hours from severe heart defects. They knew he wouldn't live long, but nothing prepares you for something like that. They were in the hospital next to mine that was connected by a long hall way. We visited each other back and forth, unable to do much except try to comfort and fill the long hospital hours. I attended their little son's funeral and someone gave a wonderful talk about a father and son. For medical reasons the son was in pain and the father held him during a very hard procedure. He prayed to God that he could take the pain from his hurting son and give it to him to bare. He felt the Lord say "You can't. But My Son can." I have thought about that when Emily was in pain in the hospital, how I had wished it was me hurting instead of her. Crying on the phone to Robert that I would loose all I had to take care of Emily. And how helpless I felt when I couldn't take it away, but I could pray that Jesus would.
Before Emily went to the hospital we had a Family Home Evening about the 2,000 stripling warriors in the book of Alma. We talked about how brave they were going to battle even though they knew it would be hard. They had faith that God would be with them. That we can do hard things with Christ there to help us. We also talked about how they didn't doubt that their "mother's knew it". That they knew the gospel and taught it to their sons. Emily was given a blessing before surgery and in the hospital she said to me "Mommy, I really hope there is a Heavenly Father." I told her that I DO know there is and that just like those sons, she needs to know that her mother KNOWS it. The Lord strengthened me during my trials, just as I watched Him strengthen my friends during theirs.
One could say October was a hard month, but as my mother-in-law and I said today, it was a blessed month. Emily is well, my sister-in-law got clean, no cancer scan for the first time in 2 years and my sister and other sister-in-law went through the temple.
Another reflection comes from Nienie's blog. I have become a reader. I love her faith and spirit and she inspires me to be a better mom. What impresses me so much is what a loving mother and wife she was before her accident and how strong she continues to be. It humbles me when I had a not so patient day with my kids today. A day that I wish I could have rewound and done a little better, especially when I am so grateful to have them. The little things they do are so sweet. Like Lindsey telling me that the wind was blowing her bangs away and now they won't be cute. I love my girls. I also need to be a better picture taker- which inspires me to search for a new camera. The reflections of a mom late at night, too late at night, can bring her to tears of gratitude and repentance to be a better mom overall.